How does one even go about making a guide to relationships? I'm certainly not in the business of analyzing other people's relationships (or even my own). I suppose there are a few things you should keep in mind when entering the wild world of college dating.
For starters, college isn't about dating. This isn't your last chance to find your soul mate. It is perfectly fine no matter what point of life you're in to be single. Just make sure that when you're dating someone, it's because you actually want to be with him or her, and not because you just don't want to be single.
Life Rule #2
There's nothing wrong with being single. Never force yourself to be in a relationship just because you don't want to be alone.
That being said, it's alright to explore your options. If you need a cuddle buddy, you don't need to go steady. I guess the term, Friend With Benefits (FWB), is often looked down upon, but it's a completely viable option. The most important part is that you set boundaries before you get into it. Make sure you and your friend both know how far the other is willing to go, and be up front with your feelings. I did the whole FWB thing with one of my best friends and it worked out great because we were up front about not wanting a relationship, and we were open with what we were and weren't comfortable with. It was similar to being in a relationship without the commitment or lovey-dovey feelings. If anything, it just made our friendship stronger, I think. So if you're feeling lonely, don't just throw yourself into a relationship. There are less serious ways to go about it... so long as you're careful.
But please, if you are in a relationship with someone from home, don't give into the temptation to find someone at school to be all cuddly with. You can skype, visit, text, call (etc) your special someone from back home, or you can decide the long distance isn't working and break up with him or her for someone you met at college... just don't do both at the same time. It's easier to cheat when you're away at college... but it's wrong, and you've got to make up your mind.
Let's get to my favorite part of this conversation, though. That would be mostly because it involves my boyfriend that I've been dating for 4 and a half months now. The hardest part about relationships at college is that you get so used to seeing him or her every day, and then when the semester's over, you go back home and barely get to see him or her at all. I have a hard enough time not seeing him for a day - I'm not looking forward to when summer rolls around. Of course, if you're lucky, he or she won't live too far away from your hometown.
Going to college with your significant other is about half way between being in the real world and living in the Big Brother house. What I mean by that is living on a college campus with your boyfriend is living on your own within walking distance of your boyfriend with your biggest responsibilities being going to class and doing homework. This leaves a lot of free time for you to be with your significant other. All this free time really gives you the chance to spend time with him or her and really get to know what he/she is like. Perhaps that's why my first college relationship lasted a month. It's such an intense level to get to know someone, though.
Of course, you have to be careful that you don't spend all of your time with your special someone. You need to have your own life and friends away from that, because if you don't, you could end up alone when you break up (or sitting around waiting for him while he's at, oh, i don't know, say soccer practice or something). As much as you will want to spend time with him or her (if you're like me anyway), it's important to spend time with other people, too.
It's funny that 3 of the 4 and a half months that my boyfriend and I have been dating has been during the summer. We started dating the week after school ended, so a majority of our relationship, I haven't been with him. Of course, ever since school started, there has not been more than a day that I go without seeing him. See how much college changes relationships? Anyway, I'd like to take this short moment to gush (even though I don't do this often... refer to rules about Jayy #5) about how wonderful my boyfriend is and how much he makes me smile. I'm sure you don't want to hear all about our relationship, but it's the best one I've been in thus far.
And that's the most important thing about relationships - it should feel like the best relationship you've ever been in. You should want to see the person. He/she should make you happy, smile, and feel good about life. Don't settle for anything less.
One last thing, always use protection when engaging in sexual activity. Whether you agree with premarital sex or not, anything can happen at any time. Shit happens, people change their minds, values and opinions change... college changes people in so many ways... just make sure you're prepared (mentally and physically) to handle all the repercussions of your actions.
USE YOUR MIND, NOT YOUR DICK/VAJAYJAY!
So yes. College relationships are a wonderful thing to experience. Just make sure you go about it in a responsible way. Although, let's be real... you're in college now, you're going to be irresponsible at least once in a while.
Peace. Love. Wrap it before you tap it.
Reading your blog is always such a culture shock, because I'm in university too but it's such a different environment here in Australia. Like, it isn't common place to be living on campus, so having a relationship at this point in life is so different. I mean for me and my friends, it's totally normal to not see our partners every day (more like every week, if you're lucky), and our relationships seem less intense, and because it's so common place to not live on campus, its rare to have that kind of dynamic in the relationship. I'd be so curious to put my boyfriend and I in your world and see what would happen, haha.
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